Sans Titre
So. It’s back! :)
She just couldn’t look at it anymore.
She didn’t raise her head again to look where it lay, pitilessly abandoned.
Tara had been sitting there for almost an hour now. Endless passers-by had come and gone; some had whispered something incomprehensible, others had just peered nervously at her, fearing an emotional outburst lest they said something wrong.
She sat there long, hardly noticing what went on around her. Her thick, brown hair fell over her forehead, obscuring her eyes. Even though her tears were hidden, it was obvious she was in pain because of the look of anguish on her face.
She had sauntered into Tara’s life with the easy grace of those who are admired everywhere they go. Tara, needless to say, was fascinated by the charm and easy splendour that she exuded. She looked perfect no matter what she wore and yet, it looked as if she really hadn’t tried hard for it to be so. People were attracted to her like moth to a flame, boys, girls and teachers alike.
She and Tara had struck up a friendship instantly, Tara needed someone to latch herself onto and she liked to have someone hovering around her, listening to every word and acquiescing to each demand. Tara fit the bill of such a ‘disciple’ perfectly.
Tara couldn’t be happier. She had found an anchor and a friend. Each night, she poured out her heart and soul and was listened to patiently; soothing words, gasps and peals of laughter were always at their cue.
Slowly and unthinkingly, Tara was losing herself. A single moment without her felt like the air was closing in. Tara, although brilliant at math, refused to take it up in high school “because she isn’t taking it!” she argued with her parents. Tara spoke only to the ones she liked, ate only what she did and refused to do anything she didn’t. Her obsession grew to an extent that when she had a boyfriend, Tara got one and when she dumped him; Tara didn’t see the point of hers anymore. Tara’s grades started slipping and she was scolded by her parents and teachers each day, but that only resulted in Tara yearning more for her friend’s company and kind words. Blinded by her happiness, Tara never noticed the change in their friendship. Her phone was always busy when Tara called and she didn’t say any nice things to make it better anymore. A terrible change came over Tara. Once a healthy and happy girl, Tara became thin and lank, her face lost its glow and became wan.
Although it was obvious, Tara refused to believe she had made the wrong choices.
Then one day, it was her birthday. Tara, mindful of the distance that had cropped up between the two, and yet grateful to her friend for having ‘changed her life’ decided to celebrate it in the way she knew she would love. Hadn’t she always shown an unusual interest in her baking? Well, that was it; Tara was going to bake the most amazing cake ever. She set at the task cheerfully, working all day. At three in the afternoon, they met.
“Happy Birthday!” cried a visibly excited Tara, “Congratulations on your special day!!”
For the first time ever, Tara saw an uncertain smile flicker across her friend’s face.
“Oh. Thanks.” She glanced at the covered dish in Tara’s hand, but looked away quickly.
Erm..see, the thing is, we have to talk. I’m not so sure whether this is the right time or not, but we do…” she trailed off.
“What is it?” asked Tara. Maybe this was a joke…maybe not.
“I’m sick of you. You and your parasitic personality scare me now. People are starting to wonder… I mean, you need to have a life! When I was new here, I liked having you around, but now…I know lots of people. I don’t need you anymore. So just please, leave me alone.”With that, she turned to leave.
The dish slipped from Tara’s hand and clattered to the floor, scattering the beautiful cake across the road as Tara lunged for her hand.
“No…No…Please don’t do this!!” she cried frantically, tears streaming down her face. “How can you just leave? You’re my best fr-” Tara stopped abruptly as she saw the look of contempt on her face. Tara had never seen anyone look at her in such a degrading way. Her grasp loosened and she shook herself free and started to walk away.
“Please…please… ” gasped Tara as she fell to her knees and watched her retreating figure hopelessly. What could she do? She closed her eyes and saw the look of hatred that had flashed across her friend’s face as she had left. What had she done to deserve this? Was this even real?
She sat there for hours, contemplating, too overcome by grief to keep crying. With her gone, she was nothing. Their friendship had meant the world to her. To Tara, she was the source of life. She kept her going. If there was no her, there would be no Tara…
There was just one way.
So there it is. Back from the dead. My first story ever…
Limerence?
I like! =D
The story, that is, not limerence. Nothing worse than being on THAT end. And nothing better.
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I didn’t know there was a word for it.
LoL. Fail.
I’m glad you like it :)
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Well. It’s a common enough problem that they have to have a word. Obscure, certainly, because people don’t talk about it. They can’t. Hurts too much.
When they do talk about it, they hide behind the more acceptable ‘love’, the word so hackneyed and vague it’s never clear exactly what it refers to.
OK, now I’m not making sense. But I don’t often expect myself to. >.<
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But I dunno, here, I don’t think either of them knew it was anything at all, forget something even half as concrete as love.
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I didn’t mean like, romantic love. That’s what I said about it not being clear. Like if you say “love ya”, the connotation is different from “I love you”. Who provides the definitions? (Don’t say the OED.) :P
And how can Tara not know it’s anything at all? I mean, the girl’s had her life taken over, even if she doesn’t know what happened or why or how, she’s gotta know there’s something, right? Or maybe she just accepts the “parasitic personality” explanation… I dunno, ok, one question, how come her parents didn’t drag her to see a shrink? (Serious question!)
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‘Cuz they didn’t know how bad it was I guess.
See, peer pressure is normal right? And they figured that since it’d all be her choice, they really couldn’t say much beyond telling her to do the right thing (say, take maths).
And her obsession with that girl, once she realises how bad it is, automatically becomes covert and hidden from her parents etc.
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Aah. So if she hid it, she knew there was something terribly wrong there?
I mean, any parent who got a reason like that from their kid would be highly concerned. It’s plausible that peer pressure would make her want to make minute changes in her personality (read hairstyle, dress sense, hobbies, extravagance) but to drop something she’s already good at is a pretty major overhaul. And that would provoke questions from everyone around her. Which, if she wanted her obsession to be kept secret, she’d have to fend off with anything but the truth.
Jeez. I feel like a Psycho student now 0.o
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